…raise children who love the unloved things…

I’ve always had a knack for seeing the beauty in things that might otherwise seem repulsive — cupping roving spiderlings in my hands to escape quick-footed spider-squashers is what I do (everyone keeps a tarantula under their bed in college, right?). I don’t think I’ve ever intentionally trampled a spider, come to think of it. Seems ridiculous, I suppose, but I feel for the unloved things. 

Creepy crawlies and critters that slither might be shudder-worthy. They are also critically important to the ecosystem and to the earth that humans so often overlook out of arrogance or simple indifference. But we desperately need the unloved things.

To love something doesn’t necessarily mean to embrace it with your entire being and smother it with an overabundance of affection. I think love is rooted in empathy. If we are empathetic, we are able to climb (sometimes awkwardly) out of our own headspace and slip into a heart-space. Living in a heart-space isn’t easy. It hurts. It hurts because once you open yourself to seeing and feeling the world around you and everyone/thing in it, your soul becomes heavy. So. Fucking. Heavy. But, it’s also freeing – because you realize that the world is incredibly complex and beautiful. You begin to understand that you are a single piece in a never-ending and always expanding puzzle. 

For many, spine-tingling fear comes bubbling to the surface at the mention of snakes, spiders, and the like. Fear is a valid emotion – instinctual fear is what helps us make safe choices. Instinct is what tells me to avoid chasing the local elk herd into a field in hopes of pets and snuggles (dream big, Jess, dream big). Consider for a moment, life absent of any fear whatsoever. I’ll be honest, sometimes I dream about who I would be if I wasn’t afraid. Maybe I would throw caution to the wind, take more risks, and be a better version of myself (who knows, really). An appropriate amount of fear is necessary to our survival as a species. The thing is, fear can also be debilitating. Fear can capture our minds, hearts, and souls – rendering us incapable of rational thinking. Fear can leave us blind to reality, in some cases – paralyzing us from living our lives in any meaningful way.

I’m not sure how to overcome fear. However, I’ve found that empathy is one key to living life with less fear and more understanding. Once you consider the life, experience, and feelings of the people and creatures that inhabit the planet alongside you, well, I would hope fear would subside (to some degree), enabling you to live a life of deeper appreciation for all things.

Will caring for a snake, crafting bat houses, and rehoming spiders radically change the world? Probably not. But building an ethical world begins with small actions. Modeling respect and appreciation for the unloved things can be part of that change. When I hear our kids call out, “MOM! There’s a spider can you come take it to a new home, PLEASE?!” – I smile. Maybe they will build a world where people are kinder, more compassionate, and where children aren’t massacred while learning to read.

Thank you for hanging with me – peace, love, & light (after coffee) – and if you’re looking to adopt a reptile, check out a few of my favorite husbandry items, here.